Pope's Head on Backwards

It went unnoticed for several minutes during the Blessing Ceremony, but apparently Pope Benedict XVI's head had been stuck on backwards the whole time. Repair to the alien-dominated robot that has taken the place of the Pope, who is now reportedly in a UFO hovering somewhere over New Jersey, was made quickly and efficiently. No one in the extensive crowd considered it odd.

With head correctly on frontwards, the Pope made his way through the crowd to the nearby Gelato stand on the piazza.

Aliens Attack UK

Aliens resembling those known to be from the Orion Group appeared today all over Great Britain, England and the UK, and proceeded toward the United Kingdom, where they opened packages of frozen yogurt and dried apricots and shared.
When asked why they were here on planet Earth, their leader responded,
"Haven't a clue, old chap. The Big Ones don't tell us anything."
Orions look just enough like earthlings to pass among us with a minor amount of plastic surgery. These two could almost pass with nothing more than a bit of makeup and an earthian costume of some kind.

Alien Hairstyle Voted Most Popular

The aliens have it, at least in the realm of hairstyles, this season. The alien look is sweeping the planet, and just about every single hairdresser has seen an enormous increase in demand for the new style.
Alien scissors must be used for the process -- they tend to be expensive, which is why the "do" can cost upwards of U.S. $10,000.00 and in the upscale salons and spas, you might have to pay more.

My Mom Was An Alien

It's not generally known, but I'm a product of alien/human interbreeding, and it has profoundly affected my life in several important ways.

1. I can't vote. It's not that they won't let me... my off-world senses don't tell me which crook is the lesser of two evils.
2. I can't work without a green card, and they won't issue one to off-worlders like myself -- I wasn't born, I was hatched -- and with pods instead of fingers, it's hard to type -- maybe gardening?
3. The only work I can get these days is waiting tables at the A'LE'Inn here in Rachel, Nevada, just a few miles from our vehicle's crash site at Area 51.
4. I can't find clothing to fit me, except these t-shirts, and without a tie and jacket I can't get into any of the great disco clubs around town.
5. I have no security clearance, so I can't use the rest room.